Sometimes I worry about what our future will bring as it relates to Madeline\'s cf. Its times like these in the hospital that I really bank all my emotions on one thing..... a cure. It\'s no doubt that whenever your child is hospitalized its a wake up call. I think a lot about how grateful I am that Madeline doesn\'t have cancer or another disease that requires even more medical care. Life is so precious. Madeline is such a fighter and her feisty spirit here in the hospital reminds me that she will always be willing to fight this disease to live the best she can.
So many people in this world have to spend months after months with their ill children and from being here I see how much worse it could be for our family. This journey has been very challenging and as a mother my emotions have been tested. Those are the times that I feel like I cant take seeing Madeline throwing up, screaming, crying for them to go bye bye because she is so distressed from the hospital. I feel like ripping put her iv lines and carrying her out of here just because together we just can\'t take anymore of this disease or hospital. But after seeing and watching what is happening around us in my emotional states I realize that maybe I just need to be stronger and try harder. Just when I think I am pushing myself too much and I can\'t take it...I see others going through more than our family and I realize I have to find more strength. I have to keep pushing thru...because there are so many that deal with so much more....
Madeline continually pushes me to be stronger when I don\'t feel strong enough.
She pushes me to be better. I hope that doesn\'t change. I hope she alway pushes me to be better than I think I can be.
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